Dog Bath and Buns of Steel, Guide Dog Chronicles:

Guide Dog Chronicles:
Dog Bath and the Buns of Steel

I was really sore after I gave my dog a bath! The prolonged heat and humid weather had combined with her food allergies to produce quite a bad dog odor. Of course, the fish breath from sneaking the cat cookies didn’t help either.
It isn’t proper guide dog etiquette to have B O or should I say D O, so I felt I should give her a bath.
I put a towel in the bottom of the tub so Future Grace wouldn’t slip. I didn’t worry about scratches. It’s the kind of one-piece molded fiberglass shower and bath unit that was popular in the early 70’s.
A few weeks after we’d moved into our home, I noticed how badly scratched it was.
The manufacturer’s rep came out and pronounced, “Hey, Lady, this unit is a factory reject and never should’a left the yard.”
Now, 24 years later, I figure as long as it doesn’t leak, what do I care if it doesn’t shine!
Future stepped into the tub with no problem. Perhaps she realized that since the door was closed, there was no escape.
The shower head is on a 6-foot long hose. It either hangs on a bracket up tall or is held in your hand. It isn’t as noisy as the regular shower or the tub faucet.
She stood very patiently as I soaked her and then lathered her all over. I knelt first on one knee and then the other. I put several towels under one knee and then the other. I knelt on both knees and bent forward.
My dog patiently submitted to my crooning as I rinsed all her nooks and crannies.
I used my hand like a squeegee. The water cascaded off her body like the soaking rain our yard needed.
I pulled the shower curtain and told her to “Shake!” She did.
I put a big beach towel on top of her as she stepped out of the tub.
“Shake!” I said, but she had anticipated my command. The towel went flying. The room was soaked. I was soaked.
I sat on the floor in a yoga position to towel dry her. Then we went into the bedroom. I squatted down next to her to blow dried her. I thought if she hung around all day in a wet coat, she’d smell sour.
My guide dog was beautiful again–and no odor.
The next morning, I felt severe pains in my rear cheek muscles! I was sore all over from the unusual postures I’d needed to shampoo Future.
Since no one would listen to my complaints, I adjusted my attitude.
Instead of pain and agony, I decided I’d just taken the first step toward having (ta-da with a drum roll, please): BUNS OF STEEL!
Copyright © 1995, 2010 by Kate Chamberlin