Guide Dog Chronicles: Guide Cat

Guide Cats

By Les Barker

Passed along by From Sue Hardin and Freedom Guide Dog Opus

The word futile springs to mind, mission impossible, yes, that’s the attempt

to harness for mankind, the intelligence of cats.

You’ve made a basic error, now let me expound.

This master/servant things o.k. but not that way around

We don’t do the ‘faithful’ subject, we don’t do the daily grind

You should never have attempted this

Guide cats for the blind

Give kitty so much trust, and we’ll abuse the privilege

You think you’re going out, you’re opening the fridge

You think I’m trying to help you, I’m not serving man but mammon

You think you’ve gained a faithful friend, you’ve lost a plate of salmon

I might lead you down the high street, I’ll be back when I have dined

We get very very hungry being

Guide cats for the blind

It can’t be very pleasant, of this I’ve little doubt

With your head stuck in a cat flap, whether facing in or out

You could be here a day or two, half out in the rain

I’ve got to go, I’ve things to do, maybe I’ll pass this way again

A dog would go for help, but cats are not that way inclined

Cats have better things to do than being

Guide cats for the blind

Of some matters I am ignorant, but this I know for certain

The best place for a blind man isn’t half way up a curtain

Why do they have to be up on a roof at 4am

It’s a perfect place for me, but what’s in it for them?

It was where I had to go, and he just tagged along behind

I  don’t know why, only a fool would follow

Guide cats for the blind

I once met a man called pavlov, from time to time he rang a bell

Simple things make humans happy, but I have to say that well,

I found it a disturbance and poor chap I think he knew it

And soon he only rang his bell when I wanted him to do it

Did you ask for our assistance, if you did then we declined

Here we are, an oxymoron

Guide cats for the blind